If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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