Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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