i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
