I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize