i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
