You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
