Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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