garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
