Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
