Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
