so let's talk penis.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
