my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
