Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
