so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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