with your own penis?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
As shirtless as possible
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize