Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
