I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
