The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
