I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
