i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize