I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
