he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
