Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
