4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
