Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
