Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
