I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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