and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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