jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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