some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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