Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
