On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize