Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Shame - the story of my life.
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