Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
