my phone needs a breathalizer
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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