I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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