She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
