He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sober January is a disaster.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
