So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
