He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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