Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
