We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
