pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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