can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
