i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
