HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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