I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
