I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
