What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You pole danced in your parka.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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