Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The air taste purple.
Randomize
