I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
