his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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