i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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