it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
