finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
