I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
organizing the empties. That sober.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
