You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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