in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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