worst night to have a conscience
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize