He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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