i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
