i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I sprained my soul last night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I need water and some morals
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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